Do you honestly believe that you already found your soulmate at the university or college that you are attending now?
In all fairness, that does not come as shocking news to us. Although it may sound airy-fairy to some, especially to the conservative folks, it indeed isn’t a fictional thought. You can meet your special someone while still studying, in reality. You can commit to a serious relationship with this individual and even dive into marriage months or years before getting your college diploma.
Nonetheless, not because we say that you can do all of that, it means that you should trail after that path. Ask yourself the questions below before you consider cutting your engagement short and getting married early.
- Can We Handle Our Expenses Together?
Tying the knot with someone entails that your household and food bills will practically double. It will not be an issue if your spouse has a steady source of income or either of you inherited millions of dollars from your ancestors, for sure. If you are both students who still depend on others for matriculation and other expenses, however, thinking of marriage too soon may not be smart. After all, financial issues can play a role in lasting marriages.
“[Low-income couples] don’t say, ‘If only we had more skills training and better communication,'” said social psychologist Benjamin Karney, PhD. “What they say is, ‘If only we had better jobs, more money, more health care, more child care, more time to spend together.'”
- Will My Decision Jeopardize My Financial Aid?
Assuming you have a scholarship now, you should know beforehand whether your educational sponsor accepts married people on board or not. Everything will turn out well if the organization does not mind it at all.
In case they scrap your scholarship because of that, though, are you cool with looking for another grant provider?
- Am I OK With Missing Out On Some College Experiences?
Being married may mean that there are specific collegiate activities that your husband or wife may not want you to attend. For instance, drinking parties, out-of-town seminars, et cetera. You have to be confident at this point that you will not sulk in case that happens.
- Can I Look After My Education And Spouse At Once?
Studying and marriage are no different to having two full-time jobs. You need to be genuinely great at multitasking to ensure that you give your 100% to both matters. Otherwise, one of them will suffer.
- Should I Still Move Forward Even If My Parents Refuse To Offer Their Blessings?
“Millennials today entering marriage are much more aware of what they need to be happy in a relationship,” said Wyatt Fisher, PsyD. “They desire equality in overall workload and chores, and they desire both spouses having a voice and sharing power.”
While parents of millennials have pretty lax rules these days, you cannot take it against them if they say no to your marriage. It may be because they want to get to know your future spouse first or they wish for you to complete your degree before that. Nonetheless, it is up to you to obey or disobey your parents.
To Sum It Up
You may go ahead if: 1) you can start a family without asking for financial help from your parents, and 2) you genuinely feel deep in your gut that you will not regret doing it while you are still finishing your education.
In case answering the questions above gives you the heebie-jeebies, though, you should consider retracting your decision to resume the preparations.
“Waiting [until] later can mean that individuals have a more established individual adult identity prior to marriage,” said Rebekah Montgomery, PhD. “It also offers many strengths, including typically more financial stability, professional success, emotional development, and self-awareness.”
Remember, a woman who loves you for real can wait until you are ready for marriage. If she leaves as soon as you try to postpone the wedding, it is a sign that you selected the best option for yourself. If she stays, however, then you may have indeed found your soulmate.
Just be wise about life, Mr. or Ms. Scholar, and take marriage as seriously as a heart attack.